Are You a Hard Place Kind of Friend?

Today’s devotion was originally published on The Joyful Life blog, Read full devotion here.

“My Life is Over!” I screamed into my pillow with all the natural drama of a 14-year-old girl.

My first boyfriend, the love of my life, had just broken up with me with the smoothness of a crocodile’s backside. Hardly. “It’s not you, it’s me,” he’d awkwardly muttered before hanging up and crushing my heart.

One of my best friends flopped down on my bed, flipping through a magazine. “I didn’t really like him anyway. I never thought you two were good together; you’re better off without him,” she rambled. Upon hearing those remarks, I gazed at her and asked with deepest sincerity, “Well, why did you not tell me this WHILE I was dating him?”

Good news—like most adolescent breakups, I quickly got over it and moved on. But today, twenty years later, I’ve discovered that a lot of friendships still operate under the same premise. Few women dare to raise a yellow flag or express concern until AFTER the damage is done. Why? Because even when solicited, many women feel uncomfortable offering honest, heartfelt advice to friends. Fearful we will appear self-righteous or judgmental, we shrug and nod or raise our eyebrows in a questioning manner. We remain silent, which is often interpreted as consent.

Of course, we should carefully consider our words before speaking. I’ve learned this the hard way. As the recipient of the high school senior superlative ‘Most Outspoken,’ I used to struggle with blurting out whatever sprang to mind, sparing no one’s feelings. Indeed, I was a ‘loose cannon,’ firing off in all directions—definitely not an example of “speaking the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15).

Continuing Reading on The Joyful Life Magazine Blog

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